Caramel Apple Pops

Oh, the joys of being a college student. Yes! I can say that now. It's so awesome that I don't have to go to school tomorrow. Calyn is spending the night and tomorrow we are going to Wakulla Springs with Nicole and her sister. Woo-hoo! Since Calyn's interview was so much fun last night, we're going to do another one.

*Cool music playing. Da da duh... This is: Lifestyles of the Rich and Emotional. I'm your host, Jenna Myrick, and we are joined tonight by our guest, Lil' Moo-Moo, the semi-famous rapper (after Lil' Bray-Bray and Lil' Tay-Tay, of course). Let's begin.*

Jenna: So, Calyn, what did you end up doing with all that leftover food from yesterday?
Calyn: Well, my neighbors and I have a food war going on, cause we do, and they keep bringing us food and we keep giving them food. They own a Jenny Craig franchise and they just bought a new Corvette, so apparently people are getting skinny. So, I took them over some borsch. Oh, and while I was walking back I almost ran into this giant banana spider web. With two giant banana spiders on it, like somthing off of "Arachniphobia." I almost died. Seriously. Are banana spiders poisonous?
Jenna: I don't know.
Calyn: They look like they'd be poisonous. They should really teach you that kinda stuff in school. Cause like, who needs to know about the Prussian wars? I'd rather know if I'm gonna die if I got bit by a banana spider.
Jenna: Yeah, that seems a little more practical to me. You know they do teach you some of that stuff in school. Like that rhyme for coral snakes.
Calyn: And king snakes. Yeah, but I never remember it.
Jenna: That's a problem. I think it's "Red touches black, friend of Jack. Red touches yellow, deadly fellow." Yeah, that sounds about right.
Calyn: Wait, but if red touches black, doesn't it touch yellow too? There's only three colors! Cause if red touches black, then black must touch yellow, and yellow must touch red. It's like hyperbola theorum, or something. You know, if A=B, and B=C, then A=C.
Jenna: Yea, I know what you're talking about, but I don't think that's what it's called.
Calyn: Well, I haven't had a math class in like, 2 years, and I don't plan on taking one ever again, so I've forgotten it.
Jenna: See, that's what I'm talking about, right there. That's why college rocks.
Calyn: Okay, let me get this strait. Red touches Jack, get back, get back! Red touches yellow, friendly fellow. Wait, no. See, this is why I wouldn't bet my life on this stupid rhyme. They really need to teach us stuff in school like this. Like, how to start a fire (more importantly, how to put out a fire), how to tell which way's north like, cause of the stars and stuff. You know, like when you'd read about the Underground railroad and the slaves would tell which way was north cause of where the ivy grew on the trees and stuff.
Jenna: I think it's moss, Calyn.
Calyn: Whatever. See, that's why I need to learn it.
Jenna: Well, why don't you just join Girl Scouts or something?
Calyn: Cause all they do is sell cookies.
Jenna: Okay, then join Boy Scouts.
Calyn: Oh, sure, I can just cut my hair. But what do I do about these?
Jenna: You can just put duct tape around your chest.
Calyn: Like in Mulan?
Jenna: Actually, I was thinking like in "Now and Then."
Calyn: You mean, "Now and Later?"
Jenna: No, that movie, "Now and Then." You know, it's got that girl in it. The one with the funky face from that movie.
Calyn: Oh, yeah. That clears it up. The one wth the "funky face".
Jenna: Casper! She's the girl from Casper!
Calyn: Christina Ricci?
Jenna: Yeah, that's it.
Calyn: Didn't it have Ellen DeGeneres in it?
Jenna: No, it had Rosie O'Donnell in it.
Calyn: I knew it was a talk-show host.
Jenna: Yeah, the other lesbian talk-show host.
Calyn: Oh yes.
Jenna: I don't think they'll let her on Sesame Street anymore.
Calyn: No, I think they'll really invite her on now. Sesame Street's messed up. They have all sorts of bad people on. Little kids don't know. They don't watch the news. They watch Sesame Street. I watched Sesame Street all the time. "'C' is for 'cookie', is good enough for me..." I love that one.
Jenna: "'L' is for 'Lesbian', it's good enough for me..."
Calyn: It's definitely good enough for Rosie.
Jenna: And Ellen.
Calyn: But not together.
Jenna: You know, Rosie O'Donnell has a blog. I found it.
Calyn: That's great, Goose. When I watched Sesame Street, I was really afraid of the Nip Nips.
Jenna: The what?
Calyn: The nip nips. The aliens that came in the spaceship. They said nip, nip, nip, nip, nip...
Jenna: Is that where your hatred of E.T. came from?
Calyn: Yeah, it's on my profile.
Jenna: Do you wanna talk about it?
Calyn: Yes, Oleg Jr.
Jenna: Tell me about your childhood.
Calyn: Well, the nip nips aren't the only thing I was scared of. I was really scared of "Land Before Time" when Little Foot's mom gets half eaten by the T-Rex. I used to always hide in my mom's closet during that part.
Jenna: Tell me how that makes you feel.
Calyn: uh, pretty scared. Keagan is scared of "Land Before Time" too ("too", not "to" or "two". Just wanted to get that strait, Taco Bell...) but only because my mom would put on Jurassic Park and tell him it was Land Before Time. He's scared of the German Coffee commercial too. But his mom is the one that sent that to us. So she approved.
Jenna: Very interesting. Hey, want a carmel apple pop? I have chocolate covered coffee beans too. The dark chocolate ones are the best.
Calyn: Heck yes. Oh my gosh. These are to die for. We did a musical of that. But it was "2 die 4."
Jenna: Cause it was like, on a license plate. Like a play on words or something. Or numbers. Whatever. Okay, we're too engrossed in our snacking to type anymore. I'll have to hear about your childhood later.
Calyn: Oleg would have listened about my childhood.
Jenna: You can still tell me, it just won't be on record.
Calyn: What could I possibly have to say to you that I don't want to say in front of 5 milion people on the internet?
Jenna: How we're gonna get you into the Boy Scouts.
Calyn: The end.

This has been "Lifestyles of the Rich and Genderly Confused. For a transcript, please visit our website at www.jenshka.blogspot.com. Goodnight everyone. Copyright XXMCCLQRS12&*